Tuesday, July 08, 2008

One year later, one year wiser?

It's been a VERY long time since I've posted here. I wish I could say a lot has changed, although I suppose it has, but I still feel very much the same. About a month from now I'll be moving to Orlando to begin grad school. While I'm uber excited about finally achieving this dream, I'm also increasingly saddened by the fact that I'll be leaving everyone else behind. I've never moved away before, I've never lived on my own. I suppose I should actually be more afraid than I am but I know I'll be alright alone, I bask in solitude. While I am, by nature, a solitary creature, I have many people that I love very dearly and I'm going to miss these people more than I can say. I will, in particular, miss Gerry, with all my heart and soul. I tear up just thinking about that fact that I won't get to see him every day, in fact, I'm not sure if I can do it. I've become accustomed to seeing him everyday, consulting him when I need to and just being with him makes me happy. People would probably tell me that I have the rest of my life to be with him, that these few months will fly by and we'll be together again before I know it. But, unfortunately, I still feel this emptiness when I think about being without him, even if it is for just a short period of time. I think of how quickly these last 4 years have passed and it terrifies me that so many more may fly by without me even noticing. When time passes so swiftly, even a hundred years doesn't seem like enough.

I shall persevere, I suppose. I've worked WAY too hard to get this far just to give it up now. Why in hell does it have to be so damn hard though?