On religion...

Well after reading Fay's blog, I've become inspired to comment on my own religious beliefs, a topic I don't talk about with just anyone. I suppose you could say I have some unique beliefs, and that may be the understatement of the year. I don't know if I really fit into any religion at all, not even wicca anymore. I like to think of myself as simply "pagan" because it fits the best. To me, pagan is a term for an earth-centered religion and nature is very important to me. I do believe in God with my whole heart but I don't talk to him very often, at least not anymore. Mostly, I talk to Goddess, I suppose because I find it easier to relate to a mother rather than a father. Many of my friends are Catholic and I haven't been able to completely leave behind my christian roots, nor do I want to. I find value in the mass and in the eucharist. I may believe more completely in the sacrament of communion than some catholics who go every week just for the sake of going. Because of my firm belief in "magic" I find it easy to receive the eucharist as the actual body and blood of Christ, transformed by the Holy Spirit and the rituals led by the priest. Having said that, I find organized religion much too constraining for my tastes. I don't think that something a group of men made up thousands of years ago could be a good fit for every single person in the world, especially when that religion denies the power of the feminine divine and the earth around us. God didn't give us this Earth, he gave us to the Earth, it existed long before we did.

Yes I am a lazy pagan, I admit it outright. The training that I've had is self-taught and incomplete. It requires dedication to plan rituals and perform them all by yourself and since I usually thrive on social contact, being a solitary is a bit lonely. Still I have a solid relationship with Goddess-there isn't a day that goes by when I don't talk to her. She is my divine mother and go to her with all of my problems because she always listens and helps me find my way. I do not speak to Jesus specifically because I believe he is part of God, God and Goddess are both part of the divine so speaking to one is like speaking to other, simply by a different name. I don't need tradition and I don't need proof, I know what works for me and that's what matters.

I wish that people could be educated on their religion. Many people don't know that the religion that they despise (i.e. pagan religions) are the root for their own mysteries and calendar. Many, if not all, of the christian holidays were originally pagan. The Church had to take them over to convert the pagans to christianity. Even the story of Christ occurs over and over again in myths from several different cultures. Now, I'm not saying that makes His story untrue but it's not unique. What I really want is for people to realize that it shouldn't matter what name you call His (or Her) face, but that you believe in a greater good and that you strive to be a better person. Everything else was created to make it easier for humans to relate.

I hope that those around me think that I am a good person, I try my best to be fair to those around me and treat them with respect. No one is perfect and I do my fair share of "wrong" deeds, but to confess your sins to someone seems absurd to me. Why do I need to tell some old guy what I have done wrong so he can tell me God forgives me? I know that God forgives me when I am sorry, Jesus said so. I don't need a middle man, I can tell him myself and feel His forgiveness. Besides, I believe very firmly in karma- what goes around comes around, whether its in this life or the next.

Even after rambling on like this, I don't think that I've really conveyed what religion is to me or what my beliefs actually are. I'm a very open-minded person, I accept people for who they are because it works for them. I'm not even sure if I could put what I believe into words because I don't know until I have to make a decision that affects those beliefs. Some may say that I'm not religious but I don't think it should be measured by how many times I go to mass or how many sabbats I celebrate. The Goddess is in everything that I do and I have a very close relationship with Her. That is what I consider to be religion and that is what works for me :)