Some truths...

I'm going to start with a poem today, it's not any good but it is, at least, mine:

I had forgotten how it feels
To feel the warmth of the sun
To see in perfect clarity
I wasn't too lost after all
Now my path is true
Nothing has changed
But I've stopped fighting
The fear is gone
No longer imprisoned by uncertainty
I have a strength in me
That will last through the ages
This life--
Short and fleeting
Sickly sweet and fatal
What of importance?
Will it last through eternity?
I can bear it
With grace and style
Not because I have to
But now because I WANT to.

I wrote that one yesterday. Contrary to popular belief, I apparently can write poetry when I'm in a good mood. But it pretty much sums up how I've been feeling these past couple of days. I won't lie, things were looking down but like the poem says, I've come to some clarity lately. One thing I have realized is the importance of the people in my life. They are vital to my existence-my friends, my family and even my coworkers, I could not live without them. Everyone I know is wonderful and have helped me in so many ways and I'm afraid I don't appreciate them enough. So, if any of those very special people are reading this, just know that I appreciate you and I love you, even if you don't think so. That being said I think that a lot of this new attitude came about yesterday when I was talking to a friend. He was telling me how much his life sucks and how he just wants something beautiful. What I don't think he realizes is that life is what you make of it. If he thinks everything sucks, then he either needs to change it or learn to appreciate what doesn't suck and hope for the best. My life is not a fairy tale but I wouldn't ask for anything more because I am an incredibly lucky girl. I think that my friend is just very lonely, but I don't think he can blame that on anyone. He needs to learn to appreciate the people around him (which may be quite a hypocritical thing for me to say, but hey, I'm trying!). It's true, sometimes I get low and I hate myself but who I am doesn't matter all that much because I have people around me who love me no matter what. With that kind of support, I can be anyone I want to. I love that I've been able to breathe a sigh of relief lately, I feel like I can handle anything just about now (well, almost anything). It felt like there was this anxiety building up in me, like I was waiting for the world to end and it hasn't come yet. Hopefully, things will stay that way. That's all for now, I'm off to do one of the millions of things I have to do today. A special Happy Birthday to you Smess, if you get a chance to read this. I LOVE YOU BUDDY!!!!!