Bye bye Halloween, I'll miss you!

Sigh, my favorite holiday is officially over. It was definitely a fun weekend though, I will say that much. Saw on Friday night, Lusher party on saturday night (go scooby gang-we won!) and fear fest yesterday, no wonder I'm exhausted. And I'm supposed to be working on homework right now but I don't really feel like it so I'm going to put it off for just a few more minutes. My mood is somewhat improved since my last post, although this weekend was definitely one of ups and downs. My poor friends, I hate it when I'm moody. But anyway, sometimes those things just can't be helped so I'm going to forgive myself this time :) I FINALLY heard from Sienna this weekend. It's only been 2 months since we last talked. I was beginning to worry about her but everything is alright. I also talked to Josh yesterday and he's sounding so much better. I still hate myself for hurting him but now we can talk without him telling me how much he misses me. I do miss him sometimes but I think it's not that I miss him as a person but more that I miss how close I used to be with him and the kind of relationship we had. On the other hand, I began to hate how dependent we were on each other and I'm much happier now (well most of the time) that I can be my own person and not "Brea-Anne and Josh". Still, it was nice having someone to share everything with. Josh knew me inside and out, he knew what I was thinking even before I did and he was always there when I needed him. I could tell him anything and it seemed like he instantly knew when I was upset. Josh was the one person that I knew cared about me no matter what. With him, I couldn't mess up so badly that he would think less of me (although I don't know if that's really true anymore). But obviously I wasn't that happy if I could leave it all behind. I think I'm just going through a time of personal growth right now. I don't even think I know that girl who used to be Josh's girlfriend, I've left her behind. Although the scariest part now is whether or not I like the girl I've become. I'm not so sure I do.