The uneasiness returns

After my glowing post last Monday it doesn't surprise me that things have pretty much done a 180 since then. Well maybe only a 90 because I'm not quite where I used to be. I feel like that feeling of uneasiness, like something is going to happen has returned. I've got all these terrible thoughts in my head that I can't seem to shake and they're not the usual ones. I think that perhaps I'm just restless because it's the end of the semester and I can't wait for it to be over. I don't know but I do feel kind of bored right now, like I'm stuck in a rut. Going to New Orleans helped a little but I'm hoping that Christmas break will make it even better. I should have known better than to think things might be looking up. I know from past experience that whenever I feel that light, I always come crashing down. I feel really horrible dumping my problems on my friends, especially Gerry. I bet he didn't know what he was getting into when I FINALLY (just kidding) convinced him to go out with me. Poor Josh had to put up with it for 4 years but at least he did it because he loved me, I don't think it's very fair for Gerry to have to handle it. Nobody wants to have to support someone who's as weak as I am. I feel like he gives so much to me, all of my friends do, and I don't give anything in return. What can I say, guess I'm just selfish like that. Oh jeez, there goes the pity party again. I'm done with that because I'm getting on my own nerves. Thinking back, I think I get like this towards the end of the semester, it must be all the stress. During the summer, I'm great, I don't have a care in the world and I love it. Damn school, it's ruining my life :) Oh how I love the melodrama. So this post is kind of all over the place, fun stuff. And I think I'm done now, I'm supposed to get back on the phones anyway and take some lovely phone calls. Oh boy, can't wait!